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Alcoholism: Daddy, please stop drinking?

  1. In this article I would like to give you information about the term "alcoholic", but above all let you read a piece of your own experience about our family, who lived with a father who was an alcoholic, what it does with a family, about how we dealt with it. I also hope that some people can get a recognition out of this and be reminded again that they are not alone.

What is an alcoholic?

  1. Alcoholism is an addiction disorder caused by prolonged and persistent drinking. Usually it starts with an occasional drink in the pub or at home and with many people the alcohol is also consumed to suppress certain feelings and thoughts. In the longer term, a person's health, work and social life are increasingly affected by alcohol. At a certain point, the alcohol user and his environment also notice that the drinker's behavior is changing, the drinker's behavior is under the influence of the alcohol, which can cause the drinker to become more selfish, himself and others. neglect, start showing aggressive behavior and develop memory disorders.


  1. Our father, officially he was our stepfather, was already drinking when he moved into our home. That was about 15 years ago. At that time he drank a few beers a night, we didn't notice at that time. He worked, did nice things with his family, but when my mother got to know him he was already a bit depressed and according to him he has always been sensitive to it, he also lost his father very young and he could not coped well so he started drinking to ease the pain.

What's going on?

  1. After he lived in our house for longer, we started to give him occasional warnings that he had to be careful with his drinking, this was a bit of a joke at the time, but with a serious thought. Of course he didn't take this seriously because he wasn't addicted and never would be. Yet we have seen him slowly turn into an alcoholic. He drank more and more to achieve the same result and turned more and more into himself. Every weekend in the pub, in the evening sleeping on the couch, no longer feel like doing things with his family and at one point you always saw the bottle with him. Eventually he ended up on sick leave through an accident, during this time he drank all day long and became increasingly depressed. In the end, he never started working again. He also neglected himself more and more, he ate worse and worse and after a while my mother was able to cook herself after a long day at work. My sister and I also took care of housekeeping outside of school.

The family

  1. Alcoholism can break a family, break it up, hurt a lot and create a constant sense of impotence in those living with the alcoholic. Our family was very much affected. Our mother was constantly frustrated, we couldn't really talk to her anymore because she was always busy with her husband. Because she could no longer talk to him, she expressed her frustrations to us and went to the pub more often to forget about the situation. My sister and I tried to do everything we could to make him stop drinking, talking a lot, screaming, crying, running away and so on. Both of us also left the house early because the situation was unbearable.


  1. He knew he had an alcohol problem but would never admit it. Yet he went to rehab and received detox treatment. With detox is meant the period of detoxification when one is in the process of withdrawal from alcohol. We continued to support him, visited him a lot and eventually he came back home. We were proud of him and saw a good future, but we also saw that things could go wrong again.

The relapse

  1. He stayed on the habit for a total of nine months, this was a difficult period for him, the desire for alcohol remained, also all his feelings and emotions came back because the alcohol could no longer displace. He often sat at the table, was very quiet. He was also in therapy and was given medication for his mental state, but this was of little help. The weather was nice again and everyone went out to the terraces again. He managed to drink colas for a while but when we came back to the pub after a day of shopping to pick him up it was already too late. Everyone who knew him looked at us helplessly and he was very drunk. My sister started to cry and got angry and he laughed at her.

From bad to worse

  1. From that time it went very fast, he lived with us for a long time, but the contact between him, my sister and my mother deteriorated. We were all very unhappy and afraid of his future. I wanted to be with him more and more and talk him into quitting drinking, but this didn't work anymore. Eventually we found him on the ground in the morning and this was followed by his first official hospital visit for the alcohol abuse. The doctors said that his liver could no longer process the alcohol properly and was also irreparably damaged, he had liver cirrhosis.

Life or death

  1. During a visit to the doctor, he was given the choice: "Do you want to live a few more years (about 6 years) without alcohol and spend a few more beautiful years with your family or do you choose for the alcohol and a life of up to a year and a half? "


  1. He became increasingly ill and had to go to hospital more and more, he also forgot about everything and his personality changed drastically. Every time his liver had a bad moment he became aggressive and that towards my mother and nothing or nobody could do anything good for him. Eventually we arranged a house for him to live in. My mother collapsed and my sister had already left home. We still loved him, saw him more often in the pub but he was very sad. Of course we missed him and we too, but he also knew that he could no longer be cured and he could not stop drinking. For us it was a helpless look at his death. I often called him to tell him I was going to a concert or to talk about music. He liked that.

The last visit

  1. He couldn't and couldn't take care of himself anymore. For example, we sometimes paid his rent, brought him groceries, but it didn't really make sense anymore. Alcohol was everywhere and he lived on it. Our last visit to him was with my sister, we made arrangements to have dinner with him that week at Christmas, but we both had a bad feeling. Eventually we came in to him for Christmas but it was already too late, he had died of alcohol abuse.


  1. After his death we missed and still miss him. However, a burden has been removed. We are not afraid every time the phone rings that something is wrong with him. You do fall into a hole and suddenly you have to think about yourself again.

What do you do then?

  1. If you can, talk a lot, understanding is very important. If necessary seek professional help, you can be referred quickly through your doctor.

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